LIFE LESSONS
Do Hard Times Really Create Strong Men?
It’s an oft-quoted saying: hard times create strong men.
Simple, catchy, and resonant, the way any memorable quote should be. Yet, all of us would be negligent to avoid asking ourselves what this quote implies. Do the ‘strong men’ it talks about equate to better? Also, what counts as ‘hard times’?
With so much to unpack, let’s review the case for and against this quote, as well as how this relates to those of us who look at this from a relationship standpoint.
The Case for Hard Times Creating Strong Men
If we are to take this generalization on a literal basis, then we need to apply a more nuanced take on this. There is definitely merit to the idea that hard times–be it physical, emotional, mental, or financial ways–are capable of producing stronger people.
By strong, we can describe those who go through such times as resilient and resourceful. To create an example, a boy who grew up used to a rigorous childhood can become a man with great physical and mental fortitude. As opposed to, let’s say, a boy who grew up in relative wealth and luxury, with no problems whatsoever to challenge him.
With that example in mind, we can even say that the first boy in that example can be seen as a potentially more attractive partner. When more hard times come, he is arguably more trustworthy and a stronger source of stability. Who wouldn’t want that compared to someone who may break faster and easier in the face of adversity?
The Case Against Hard Times Creating Strong Men
On the flip side, hard times do not just develop resilience and resourcefulness. They can also traumatize those who go through them, especially when the adversity becomes too much to handle. An abusive childhood, to create another example, may lead to complex disorders that manifest in unpredictable ways once the child grows into an adult.
Those who suffer from PTSD, anxiety, and depression–all of which can originate from ‘hard times’ may also lead to further relationship challenges down the line. And while this does not apply to every single traumatized person, the cycle of trauma has a way of being passed on.
Then, in defense of those who lived through softer times, the care shown to them and the comfort they’ve lived in does not necessarily encourage weakness in any shape. Such soft times can even be a source of greater empathy and compassion, as a 2023 research by Cerqueira and Almeida shows that those who suffered childhood trauma actually display decreased empathy on average.
The Verdict
As another oft-repeated quote goes: diamonds are formed under pressure, but bread dough rises when you let it rest. What strengthens and develops some may weaken and break down others. Strength comes in various forms, which makes a literal interpretation of this quote downright irresponsible.
Sayings that resonate with many people always contain a kernel of truth. In the case of “hard times create strong men,” the oversimplification of it inevitably waters down what truth one can find in it, which is something worth remembering.
