REALITIES
In Defense of Monogamous Dating
Today’s dating scene often reflects how the rest of the world works. There’s variation beyond compare now, people are freer than ever, but they’re also as confused as ever. So many questions are laid out, and one of the biggest is whether or not monogamous dating still works.
The reason why monogamy is even questioned in the first place lies in the loss of faith many experience regarding the relationships they’ve been taught to think of as lifelong. Divorce, infidelity, and general unhappiness have caused many to reconsider what their model of a healthy relationship life ought to be.
However, there are still reasons to believe in monogamy.
Break Ups Do Not Reflect Monogamy’s Faults
Those against monogamy often look at broken relationships and families as proof that it is as equally broken as a relationship type. They see it as a relic of a bygone era that modernity has passed by. Yet, anyone who examines the reality of relationships can see that it isn’t a monogamy problem at all.
It has always been a people problem.
Couples break up; they always have and always will. Shattering the illusion of a lifelong family or relationship for all is the first step into seeing things for what they are. Families will always have their issues. Couples will always have their issues. Human beings, in general, will always be flawed.
So, it’s far from fair to lay everything at monogamy’s feet.
Non-Monogamous Coupling Share Just as Many Common Issues
Those supportive of non-monogamy often cite problems like jealousy, insecurity, and being controlling as reasons why monogamy doesn’t work. Yes, couples who exclusively date can have those issues in spades, but those same issues have not disappeared entirely from non-monogamy either.
Let’s say a jealous, insecure, and controlling person embraces non-monogamy.
It doesn’t take much for anyone to see that this shift will not make those issues disappear. If anything, the freer and more open nature of this new relationship type might even exuberate them. Those who don’t learn to deal with their problems with a single partner aren’t guaranteed to be free of them with several partners.
Again, a person’s personal flaws do not reflect the flaws of monogamy.
Societal Changes Supporting So-Called Victims of Monogamy Are Already Here
Those against monogamy like bringing up the plights of its apparent victims, which include divorced women and the children of broken families. However, these same people also tend to correlate monogamy with the patriarchy, which actually has victimized certain groups of people.
Correlating concepts do not need to share faults among them.
Today, it is nowhere near as scandalous to be a divorced woman compared to a few decades ago. Women in general also have more rights and opportunities now, which means greater chances of surviving and thriving without a partner. While children from broken families still suffer, there’s no stigma against the parents who agree to co-parent.
Change is already here and it isn’t all bad.
Monogamous dating isn’t dead nor is it dying. As long as people believe in finding love in another person, then this relationship type will live on. Yes, many loudly and spectacularly fail, but we can’t discount the quiet successes out there either. And, yes, things will always get difficult, but remember that nothing worth having comes easy.
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