SELF REFLECTION
Three Vital Ways to Work on Yourself While You’re Single
Being single is a different experience depending on who you ask about it.
There are those who find it miserable, while there are those who thrive without partners. Then, there are those waiting in the wings, feeling neither happy nor sad about being alone. They know their time for love will come; they just don’t know when.
For the men who belong in this third category, it would be wise not to let this idle time go to waste. While waiting for the right opportunity to come along, it can pay dividends to work on yourself in the meantime.
If you need help, here are three vital ways to get started:
Know How Far You are Willing to Commit
Many of the untethered that start dating around often make one crucial mistake before they even manage to say a word to a prospective partner. This mistake is not knowing what they really want.
They delude themselves into thinking that they just want to test the waters, only to choke and disappoint others when a proper opportunity presents itself. Does that sound like a familiar scenario?
Sometimes, working on yourself can be as simple as knowing what you want and making up your mind. If your goal is to date casually, then own it. Be radically honest about that and accept what comes to you. The same goes if you want something serious.
Remember, when it comes to love and relationships, specific is always better than vague.
Tackle Any Lingering Issues from Your Past
Unless you’ve got an absolutely clean slate, there’s a good chance that you’ve seen and experienced things before that you aren’t happy about. You might even have regrets and guilt over past mistakes.
Before you can move forward, you need to make sure that your traumas and issues have been addressed. Few things are worse than committing to a new partner, only to have her shoulder the responsibilities of helping you heal.
A partner can be many things, but she does not need to be your therapist. That’s not her burden to carry and it would be irresponsible for you to expect her to. It isn’t realistic to be completely issue-free, but let the addressing of your problems be an ongoing thing, at least.
As long as you are exerting genuine effort, chances are, most of the women you date will respect and appreciate that.
Strengthen Your Capacity to Do More than Just the Basics
Commitment and overall mental or emotional stability are obviously great for relationships. But so is having a great capacity to be an outstanding partner. Many men take this to mean grand gestures, but it doesn’t have to be.
The name of the game is just effort. Consistent, noticeable effort.
Anyone can show up when it counts, remember special dates, or take a few minutes out of their day to send a text. Those who make showing up the norm are exerting effort. Those who can make special dates even more special (grand gesture or no) are exerting effort.
And who would ever complain about consistent and efficient communication that goes beyond just a lazy text or two?
When love finally finds you, you want to make sure that you’re at a level that makes you worth keeping. It is far from easy to work on yourself, but the results always speak for themselves.
Take time to improve while you’re single; you’re not likely to regret it in the least. Know that it is never selfish to look out for yourself every now and then.
