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All You Need Is Love: Should You Go After Just Anyone You’re Attracted to?
All you need is love. That’s what John Lennon famously penned for The Beatles’ July 1967 single. As a species, love is as basic a need as food, water, and shelter. Maybe Lennon was on to something, but just because we need it, that doesn’t mean it should be given indiscriminately.
Naturally, we only go after those we have some attraction or connection with, right? Even then, it can be worth asking if that’s a good enough reason. The truth is, reality is often far more complex than what meets the eye.
The Case For Going After Someone Because There’s Attraction Present
First of all, this should seem like a no brainer for most people. You find someone hot and perhaps that someone finds you hot, too. With the minimum requirement already there, why bother complicating things?
As much as humans would love to have a crystal ball to predict their future fortunes, even relationships that seem like best case scenarios for them can fall to the wayside. Nobody is perfect either, so the most we can do is give things a chance instead of automatically handing out rejections, and give our best efforts.
For those who are just looking for something casual and fun, then this might be the best time to get what you want. Even short-term relationships can be quite satisfying and memorable when done right, after all.
The Case Against Going After Someone Despite the Attraction Present
This is where things get interesting. As mentioned before, attraction is often the bare minimum for people who want to give things a chance. If that’s it, then there is a boatload of other factors that the couple may or may not have taken into consideration.
Compatibility is an important one. Even the most romantically-charged couple would be hard-pressed to overlook that for long. You may go an entire honeymoon period ignoring any incompatibilities between you, but if that’s the case, then the period that comes after that is sure to be a rough reality check.
Specifically, here are the many ways couples can look at how compatible they are:
- Physical — This refers primarily to how well you and your partner click sexually.
- Emotional — This refers to how much you can trust your romantic partner with your emotional needs and vice versa.
- Financial — This refers to how well you and your partner agree on money spending, as well as how well you still click with what monetary habits you already have.
- Goals — This refers to how well you and your partner understand each other’s future goals. This includes professional goals, lifestyle aspirations, and even how you intend to bring up your prospective family.
- Values — They are the things that you believe in and live by. These are the things that you are not willing to compromise on. Compatibility on values can potentially make a relationship quite strong, just as incompatibility here can practically be a relationship killer.
In the end, the phrase ‘All you need is love’ is an oversimplification. While we all need genuine love, we cannot just go giving and receiving it from anyone. We still have to be discerning about choosing who to partner up with so that we can maximize our relationships to their fullest potential for happiness and satisfaction.
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