REALITIES

The 411 on Radical Honesty and How It Helps Relationships

Zarita Andrada
3 min readMay 18, 2024
A man with a red X on his mouth and the words ‘Don’t lie’ on his face
Photo By: Taras Chernus on Unsplash

Everybody knows the saying, “honesty is the best policy.” But is that really the case?

We’ve all been in situations where tensions eased up the moment a few details were kept under wraps. And then there were issues that went away when white lies came into the picture. In those moments, it certainly seemed like honesty would have been far from the best policy.

Yet, dishonesty and deception are always short-term solutions at best. Sooner or later, the truth always comes out and the issues are renewed, if not worsened. The same can be said with relationships. Tempting as it can be to tell a comfortable lie to appease an angry partner, it may be better to tell an inconvenient truth instead.

No one ever said radical honesty was easy but there’s a reason why many embrace it.

What Is Radical Honesty?

Defined simply and, well, honestly, this is the practice of being absolutely forthcoming. There are no omissions of details, nor any white lies thrown out there. Those who embrace this practice have to be as open with the truth as possible, no matter how uncomfortable or inconvenient.

How It Benefits Relationships

Honesty is beneficial to relationships in many ways. For one, it builds trust through the enabling of authenticity. Partners will be able to get to know one another in genuine ways, which can lead to deeper and stronger bonds.

While admittedly uncomfortable at times, honesty makes communicating one’s needs easier in the long-run. Partners will be able to freely speak what’s on their mind and they’ll be able to trust that their needs will get a fair chance at being met.

Ways to be More Honest In Relationships

If constant and consistent honesty is not something a person is used to, practicing it in its most radical form can be a challenge at first. Fortunately, there are steps that people can take to ease into it:

Step 1: Accept Vulnerability and Humility

Practicing a high degree of honesty in any relationship begins with being vulnerable. We cannot begin to be that truthful with others if we still lie to ourselves. Be vulnerable and accept the humility required of such honesty. Only then can you proceed.

Step 2: Practice Sharing in a Safe Space

The next step would be to create a safe space for honest discussions. This is crucial since the environment we foster can either make or break our attempts at honesty. With a safe space secured, you can start sharing your honest thoughts and feelings there.

Step 3: Practice Constructive Sharing

Remember that honesty does not have to come bluntly. There are ways to express yourself that won’t cause unnecessary damage to the other person. Being constructive means not using a critical tone or voice. Avoid speaking in ways that could put people on the defensive.

In a world where dishonesty comes easy, practicing this is something many couples should at least try. The self-improvement gained from this is tremendous for both individuals, not to mention its capacity for handling conflicts in healthy ways.

Radical honesty may seem like a lot of work, but nothing worthwhile comes easy.

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