SELF
Are You Aware of Your Own Red Flags?
Everybody knows to watch out for bad behavior and ill qualities in others. Terrible experiences have taught us far too well for us to be too trusting, and this goes double for romance. However, since relationships involve more than just a single person, are we just as adept at singling out our own red flags?
If we were to be honest with ourselves, we might have just as much–if not more–bad behavior and qualities than the person we seat ourselves across from on that first date. As busy as we get analyzing others, it’s a good idea to take all that effort and analyze ourselves for a change. Here’s how you can start:
Picture Yourself as Seen By Others
We’ve all wondered at one point or another as to how we come across to others. That kind of thinking tends to happen at our most insecure or self-conscious. This time, however, try this train of thought as it comes from another source: self-improvement.
As you interact with other people, try imagining how your actions and words affected them. It would be easy to tell from their responses and expressions. If there’s anything off about those, and if those are consistent enough, then there might be something worth looking into.
Check Your Surroundings
Our environment can also affect how we behave, the values we cultivate, and what we present to the world at large. If we come from environments that endorse or tolerate things that are not particularly good, there is always the chance that we absorb some of that, even if we do not approve or express them ourselves.
Take family for example. In a familial setting, behaviors are learned at an early age, which becomes almost second nature to us. If there are any red flags from one’s family, it is worth examining if those same red flags are also present in us.
Review the Consequences of Past Actions
Moving on to the harder aspects of becoming self-aware, it can be necessary to turn back the clock and analyze past deeds. We have to analyze the good and the bad before checking what consequences arose from them.
It’s in those past actions that we find patterns. Within those patterns, we find reliable sources of our own personal qualities, which we can then determine as either red or green flags.
Ask The Opinion of Those You Trust
This could be a friend that’s known you well for a long time. Or, it could be someone you’ve spent enough time with, such as a co-worker or a schoolmate. It could even be a family member or even your own partner.
Asking them to point out what red flags they see in you will be awkward. It might even be downright difficult to take. But if you really trust them, then you should be able to get the answers you’re looking for.
Nobody is perfect and we all have bad behaviors and qualities that we bring to the table. For the sake of protecting ourselves, it’s only right that we watch out for anything that might bring us harm as we enter into new relationships.
Yet, as we do so, we can’t forget to watch out for what potential harm we might also bring along. We all have our own red flags to police and, hopefully, eliminate. In the interest of making future relationships better for everyone, the sooner and better we do this, the greater our dating experiences will be in the long haul.
